Dysfunction in a family is not limited to problems with addiction and physical violence. In the case of people living with ACoDF syndrome, also known as abandoned child syndrome, dysfunction consists of the family's failure to fulfill its basic function, resulting in faulty socialization and associated with serious problems in adult life.
ACoDF Syndrome – what does it mean?
What does ACoDF mean? ACoDF Syndrome, or Adult Child of Dysfunctional Family Syndrome, is a complex of emotional and physical disorders rooted in being raised in an immature family system. Those affected struggle with psychological burdens resulting from unpleasant experiences from childhood and adolescence. ACoDF syndrome affects people who grew up in a closed, rigid family system where roles and communication patterns among members were disrupted. This is associated with developing inappropriate defense mechanisms and has a negative impact on how both the environment and oneself are perceived.ACoDF vs. ACoA
ACoDF syndrome refers to all adult children raised in a dysfunctional family, regardless of the basis of the dysfunction. ACoA syndrome, or Adult Children of Alcoholics syndrome, concerns exclusively people who suffered in childhood due to tension, disorientation, and disruptions in their sense of security caused by alcoholism present in the family. The factor differentiating these two syndromes is the factor responsible for the occurrence of disturbances in the family system. However, both disease entities have much in common, sharing numerous symptoms of emotional and psychological nature.What is a dysfunctional family?
A dysfunctional family is unable to provide its members with a sense of security. It forces children growing up in it to find various ways of coping with emotions on their own and leads to the development of low self-esteem. See also: How to recognize an alcoholic in the family?Characteristics of a dysfunctional family
The main characteristics of a dysfunctional family include:- presence of rigid rules prevailing at home
- subordination of functioning to parents' problems – addictions, violence, arguments
- necessity of playing rigid, imposed roles
- disturbances in communication between family members – lack of communication or its significant limitation
- denial of obvious problems
- keeping secrets and prohibiting talking about the home situation with outsiders
- social isolation and limitation of relationships with others
- necessity of suppressing emotions
- problems in setting boundaries or complete failure to respect them
- lack of intimacy
- lack of empathy
- lack of mutual respect
- strong sense of shame
- inability to satisfy one's own needs
- unrealistic expectations toward children
- conditional love.
Parentification in dysfunctional families
In dysfunctional families, so-called parentification often occurs, which is the development in a child of responsibility for the emotional and physical comfort of the parent. It consists of a reversal of roles in the family and a situation where the child takes care of the adult's well-being, sacrificing their personal needs. Parentification is a form of neglect. It bears the hallmarks of violence and is associated with serious consequences for the child's further development, who experiences an emotional burden far exceeding their capabilities. People with ACoDF syndrome struggle with numerous psychological burdens.ACoDF Syndrome – symptoms
ACoDF symptoms are both emotional and social. Adult children with abandoned child syndrome struggle with, among others:- constant feeling of emotional tension
- oppressive anxiety
- restlessness
- irritability
- sadness
- loneliness
- feeling of emptiness
- shame
- low self-esteem.
- reluctance to talk about oneself, one's emotions and feelings
- reluctance to establish interpersonal relationships
- fear of entering into relationships
- inability to resolve conflicts
- reluctance to start one's own family
- lack of ability to enter the role of partner, spouse, or parent.
What roles do ACoDF children take on?
ACoDF children can take on the roles of scapegoat, family hero, invisible child, confidant, or mascot in a dysfunctional family.- Scapegoat – a child playing the role of scapegoat displays behavioral problems, performs poorly in school, and often gets into fights. With their behavior, they encourage parents to burden them with all problems and vent negative emotions on them, while creating the appearance of relieving them of responsibility for the family situation.
- Family hero – ACoDF children who have entered the role of family hero are responsible, helpful, and perform well in school. They take on their parents' duties and feel responsible for maintaining the illusion of family order.
- Invisible child – causes no problems, is quiet, withdrawn, and unremarkable. Often escapes into the world of games, movies, books, or music to provide themselves with a semblance of security.
- Confidant – a child to whom one parent confides their problems, entrusting them with details of family life. They are forced to push their own emotions and problems to the background to provide emotional support to the parent.
- Mascot – this is a child who diffuses tense atmosphere, making time more pleasant and diverting attention from problems. They are valued by parents for their comedic talent and are never taken seriously.
Why is ACoDF syndrome so hard to notice?
ACoDF syndrome can be difficult to notice because its foundation is dysfunction that does not attract the attention of the environment, for example, workaholism, emotional immaturity or unavailability of parents, or lack of open communication between family members. In the eyes of many people, the basis for the development of abandoned child syndrome is exclusively violence and addiction. They are often unaware of the existence of ACoDF and hear about it for the first time from a psychotherapist they approached to solve their problems. See also: Alcoholic father. How can a mother help the child?How to recover from ACoDF?
To recover from ACoDF, a person affected by abandoned child syndrome should primarily begin psychotherapy, which will allow them to cope with harmful beliefs, disarm dysfunctional defense mechanisms, and abandon the victim role. Special support groups are helpful in solving the problems of ACoDF children. Meetings with other people struggling with the same difficulties facilitate the process of reframing childhood and support changing the way of thinking and perceiving reality.:::cta Need help fighting addiction? Our specialists are ready to help you. Call or schedule an online appointment. Call: 880 808 880 | Schedule appointment :::
