How to Refuse Alcohol in Social Settings? | Learn More

Dr Barbara Nawrot Updated: November 21, 2025, 09:54 Table of Contents

• Why do we consume alcohol?

• No thank you, I don't drink

• Assertive refusal of alcohol – examples

• When should you seek addiction therapy?

• How to assertively refuse alcohol during and after therapy?

Refusing alcohol in social settings can be more difficult than it might seem. Peer pressure, phrases like "it's just one glass," or jokes from friends make many people feel uncomfortable when they want to say "no." However, sobriety is a conscious choice that doesn't require explanations or justifications. We explain how to assertively refuse alcohol and why it's important to maintain your boundaries regardless of the situation.

Why do we consume alcohol?

The topic of assertive alcohol refusal remains in the shadows. Statistics show that only about 10% of society declares complete abstinence and conscious sobriety. Reaching for a drink most often occurs in extreme situations – in moments of sadness, failure, or stress, but also when celebrating successes. For young people, alcohol often becomes a "ticket" into the peer group. This is accompanied by fear of exclusion and strong peer pressure. Alcohol is supposed to provide an illusory sense of courage, relaxation, or escape from problems. Unfortunately, the consequences of its abuse are often the opposite – from addiction, frustration, and apathy to aggression after alcohol and loss of control over one's life. That's why it's so important to be able to say clearly and firmly: "I don't drink alcohol". This is a conscious choice that allows you to avoid negative consequences and maintain independence.

No thank you, I don't drink

The harmfulness of alcohol is still often downplayed. It's not just about the temporary hangover, but also about the risk of binge drinking and developing addiction. In Polish culture, drinking during family or social gatherings is often treated as the norm, and social acceptance makes many people feel obligated to have a drink. In practice, however, saying "I don't drink" should not require explanations or justifications. It's important to remember that even under the influence of persuasion or pressure, no one has the right to force you to break your abstinence. This is especially difficult for people with addiction who have chosen to live in sobriety. For them, refusing alcohol becomes a daily challenge. That's why it's so important to know simple and effective methods of assertive refusal.

Assertive refusal of alcohol – examples

• Speak directly and firmly

The simplest solutions are usually the best. Say clearly: "I don't drink alcohol." This is your decision and no one has the right to challenge it. You don't need to explain yourself or look for excuses. Assertive alcohol refusal is based on consistency – sometimes one "no" isn't enough, but persistence earns respect.

• Change the subject

When you don't want to enter a discussion, simply divert attention. Steer the conversation toward the atmosphere of the gathering, food, or music. You can also ask for another drink – water with lemon or juice work better than another glass.

• Use an excuse if it makes you feel more confident

Not everyone feels comfortable with an open refusal. In such situations, you can give a simple reason: you're driving, taking medication, going home early, or taking care of your health. Even if it's just a pretext, it effectively ends the pressure.

• Use humor

A witty comeback often diffuses the atmosphere. You can say with a smile that thanks to sobriety, you'll be the best driver who will take everyone home. A humorous approach allows you to maintain lightness and avoid conflict.

• Be consistent

Sometimes you need to repeat your position several times, especially in conversation with someone already under the influence. Calmness and consistency are important – the more confident you act, the faster others will accept your decision. Remember, refusing alcohol is not rude. It's an expression of self-care and your boundaries. Sobriety is a choice to be proud of because it brings real benefits for health, mental well-being, and relationships.

When should you seek addiction therapy?

The best time to start addiction therapy is the moment when we notice the first signs of a problem, regardless of whether they concern alcohol, drugs, gambling, or other behaviors. A visit to a specialist doesn't require waiting for a crisis moment or dramatic events. The sooner we make the decision, the greater the chances of successfully overcoming the addiction. Many people delay seeking therapy, fearing judgment from others, shame, or the confrontation with the problem itself. These are natural concerns, but it's important to remember that addiction rarely goes away on its own; on the contrary, it usually deepens over time. Therapy is not a sign of weakness, but of courage and maturity to change.

How to assertively refuse alcohol during and after therapy?

Beginning addiction therapy is a huge success, but the real challenge only starts in everyday life. Family gatherings, parties, or regular outings with friends are often associated with the presence of alcohol. For people who have decided on sobriety, the most important skill becomes assertive refusal. It's worth clearly defining your boundaries from the beginning and firmly emphasizing that you don't drink alcohol. You don't need to explain yourself or justify – this is a decision that comes from caring about health and a new life. A good solution is also to prepare several neutral responses in case of pressure from the environment, for example, "I'm having a good time without alcohol", "I'm driving" or "I'm taking care of my health". This makes it easier to maintain consistency and composure. Remember that life after therapy doesn't mean giving up joy and companionship. On the contrary, it's a chance to build relationships based on authenticity and mutual respect. Sobriety allows you to fully enjoy the moment, without the risk of returning to old patterns. Assertive refusal of alcohol thus becomes not only a tool for protection against relapse, but also a symbol of a new quality of life.

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